


Fall Into Your Blu

by tipitytap



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Canon Compliant, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hunk (Voltron) Is Bad At Communicating, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Fluff, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Langst, M/M, Mild Blood, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Season/Series 04, it follows the events in season 4 but like stuff gets changed, just a whole bunch of mild, klance, klance angst, klance fluff, klangst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-10-27 20:44:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17773919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tipitytap/pseuds/tipitytap
Summary: It's been a month since Keith has left to become a Blade, and of course, Lance misses him. But he quickly figures out that these feelings are deeply rooted in something a little more than affection for your teammate.Keith struggles with the non-familial structure of the BoM, making the mistake of getting comfy with the hominess of Voltron. When times get difficult, Keith finds his mind wandering to a certain paladin, and he can't help but experience strong feelings of longingOr: Keith and Lance suck at communication and feelings, watch them fail.





	1. Realization

**Author's Note:**

> I really only like writing stuff that takes place from season 1-3, given those are my favorite seasons, so I decided to take a crack at writing something from Season 4. Plus, I'm rewatching season 4 with my brother so like miGhT aS wEll.
> 
> [Song the fic is based on (and the song Lance listens to on his mp3 player)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VxuMErCd-E)

There were some things that were easy to handle. Some things… not so much. It’s just the simple fact of life. But the severity of those things that are difficult varies from person to person, and it all has to do with circumstance.

So why the _fuck_ was Lance getting so worked up over one person when he’s fighting in a fucking _intergalactic war_. Why the _fuck_ is Lance so hung up on Keith leaving? And by now he left like… a solid month ago. That should’ve been enough time to get ahold of himself, right?

Wrong.

Lance has tried literally everything he could think of to distract himself. But a distraction only lasts so long before Keith comes crawling back to his mind. Lance doesn’t _want_ Keith on his mind, the mulleted boy just happened to make himself comfortable there. He’s sure that he would be just as worked up if it were any other person who was gone. Yeah.

 

* * *

 

“Lance, get your ass over here,” Pidge snarls vaguely in Lance’s direction, still half focused on the screen in front of her. Hunk sits beside her, completely obscuring whatever is on the screen. Lance groans theatrically, rolling off the couch. They had _just_ gotten back from a mission. Didn’t they respect him enough to let him rest for 5 minutes? Dragging himself over, Lance plops himself down between Hunk and Pidge. Rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes, the image on the screen blurs before coming into view perfectly.

And Lance swears his heart genuinely stops beating.

“Keith!” Lance says excitedly, all tiredness being long forgotten. Lance’s cheeks suddenly go red, _I shouldn’t have sounded that excited,_ and he coughs so he can hide his face in his fist. “N-nice to see ya, man.”

Keith smiles kind of awkwardly on the screen, refusing to make direct eye contact with Lance. _Did I do something wrong?_ Lance can’t help but wonder idly. _Yes you did, one and a half years of fake rivalry you dumbass,_ Lance scolds himself quickly after.

“Yeah, nice to see you too,” Keith says finally, his voice strangely inviting. The raven-haired boy turns his attention back to Pidge, and Lance can’t help but be a little hurt (albeit jealous) when Keith’s expression softens once he looks back at Pidge. _Why do I get the special cold stare?_

“You made sure that our connection would be undetectable, right?” Keith asks, his eyes shining in the purple light illuminating his bunk. Lance was starting to get sick of purple, he couldn’t even imagine how Keith felt.

“Of course I did, how could I forget after you nagged me about it non-stop,” Pidge grunts. Hunk snickers quietly as Keith rolls his eyes dramatically. “No, but seriously dude, why were you so hung up on that?”

Taking a moment to think, Keith’s eyes dart around his room before settling back on Pidge again. “It’s just uh… Kolivan doesn't allow me video calls unless they were orchestrated by Kolivan or Voltron itself soo… I’m technically not supposed to be talking to you guys.” Keith drums his finger against the side of his cheek as he leans into his palm, eyes flickering between the three of them.

“So like, these are sneaky-sneak private calls?” Lance confirms enthusiastically as he leans into the screen. “Cool! Awesome, we’re like---you’re secret girlfriend that you sneak out of your bedroom window at night to see.” Keith shrugs casually, though the blush creeping up his neck is difficult to ignore. It’s kind of… adorable? Well---not in _that_ way, but in like… a kitten way. Okay, that doesn’t sound any better.

“Anyway, I’m probably gonna have to go soon… I just wanted to check in with you guys. How’re things back at the castle?” Keith suddenly sounds timid, tip-toeing around questions.

“Well, Coran’s been throwing around the idea of doing a ‘Voltron Show’ to get people to join the coalition, I don’t really think it’s a good idea,” Hunk says, scratching the back of his neck. “I just think we’re all too horrible of actors to actually accomplish anything.” That earns a chuckle from everyone, and Keith shakes his head in response.

Lance shoves into the view after Hunk’s done talking. “We’ve been doing good, though! Team Voltron’s kicking around just fine.” Lance takes a pause and considers how Keith’ll take his words, swallowing thickly. “We still miss you, though.” 

Whoops, that elicited the wrong response.

Keith’s eyes suddenly go downcast, biting his bottom lip. “Y-yeah… good to hear you’re doing fine,” he says quietly, completely brushing over the fact that Lance just _admitted to missing him_. Sure, he didn’t refer to himself directly, but he still said it.

“W-well, maybe you should visit sometimes! Yeah, we kinda wanna see you in person, dude,” Lance quickly attempts to quell Keith’s melancholy attitude, which evidently fails. Keith sinks further into the seat he occupies, eyes drifting away from the screen.

“I _would_ if I had the time too,” Keith grunts.

“But alas, you never do,” Pidge groans dramatically, raising her arm up to her forehead in mock disappointment. Lance just snorts at that, and Hunk shoves her side.

On the screen, Keith suddenly stretches his arms over his head, stifling a yawn. Only then Lance realizes how unbelievably _tired_ Keith looks, dark bruises under his eyes staining his pale skin. He looked kinda horrible, actually.

“Aww, somebody needs a nap?” Lance coos playfully. Keith immediately brings his arms back down, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Shut up, Lance,” Keith snaps, though there isn’t really any bite in his voice. Lance just snickers, rolling back to lean his hands against the floor. “I’ve just been going on a lot of missions, I don’t really have time to sleep.”

Lance rolls his eyes, running a hand through his thick hair. “You’re tellin' me. Uh, baggage check for Keith’s eyes! You look like a raccoon, buddy.” Keith entire face erupts in a bright red, and he covers it up with his fist.

“Yeah no, not even joking---do you _ever_ sleep?” Hunk questions, his voice ripe with concern. He leans over Lance so he’s clearer in the viewfinder, looking directly at Keith. “You look worse than Pidge.”

“ _Hey!_ ” Pidge squawks, making an attempt to shove Hunk’s arm. He pulls it out of the way before she can reach it, and she just topples over unceremoniously into Lance’s lap. He grunts in response, shoving the girl off. An abrupt alarm goes off, causing the three of them to all jump out of their skin. They all make a move to get up when they realize that colored light is blinking periodically from the screen.

“Shit---sorry guys, I-I gotta go,” Keith says frantically, pulling the hood of his armor over his head. “I’m really sorry, I’ll try to talk to you guys again as soon as possible but I---”

“Keith, stop apologizing. We get it. We’ll talk to you later, man.” Hunk says encouragingly. He shoots Keith a warm smile, and the masked boy instantly relaxes. 

“Okay, bye,” Keith says hastily, waving at the screen. The others say their goodbyes, waving until the screen clicks off. Pidge relaxes against Lance’s knees, gathering up her technology.

“Great, now I’m gonna spend the entire day stressing over whatever the hell Keith’s doing,” Lance groans as he throws his head back. Hunk huffs in agreement, but Pidge gives him a confused look.

Turning herself around, Pidge leans against Lance’s legs. “Whaddya mean? He’s probably just going on a mission,” Pidge questions, tipping her head to the side. Lance runs a hand over his face, groaning into the palm of his hand.

“That’s exactly _it_ Pidge! Those Blade guys drop like flies on missions, there’s always a possibility that Keith could be one of those flies.” Pidge’s shoulders instantly fall, understanding dawning on her face.

“Oh…” she mutters pathetically, looking away. Her eyebrows suddenly shoot up on her face, and she looks Lance directly in the eye. “Wait, why do _you_ care? Don’t you hate him?”

Lance guffaws, placing an offended hand on his heart. “I don’t _hate_ him! And besides, even if I did, I’m not an asshole.” Lance huffs angrily. “I can still, y’know, _worry_ about him. Despite what I might’ve previously said. I was like---his right-hand man! His second, I got the guys back, y’know? I---”

“Okay, okay, we get it! You can stop trying to explain yourself, weirdo.” Hunk grunts. Pidge practically cackles at that, leaning up on the heels of her hands to get out of Lance’s space. 

“Aww, Lance likes Keiiiiith,” Pidge sings. Lance groans, rolling his eyes. 

“See ya later assholes,” Lance grunts, heaving himself up off the ground. Pidge continues her evil cackling as Lance walks out of the room, and he can still hear her as the door closes behind him.

 

* * *

 

Lance’s bedroom door closes behind him with a quiet _whoosh_ , the air ticking his neck. Shrugging his jacket off his shoulders, Lance tosses it to the foot of his bed. It promptly rolls off, dropping onto the floor. Lance sighs heavily, kicking the jacket across the room. Lance flops onto his bed, causing his mp3 player to drop onto his thigh. Yanking off his shoes, he tosses the pair so it lands next to his discarded jacket. 

As he picks up his mp3 player, Lance falls backward onto his bed, his head hitting the pillow with a satisfying _thump_. Lance slips the stolen headphones over his ears, still silently thankful that he had this with him when they left Earth. He’s even more thankful that Pidge figured out a way to charge it.

A pleasantly rhythmic song swims through his ears, and Lance closes his eyes at the sound, letting the song engulf him. His shoulders relax into the soft mattress of his bed, letting his mind wander.

The music helps to guide his thoughts to the ocean, the repetition of the word in the song reminds him of such. He misses the ocean, maybe even more than he misses the rain. Maybe he just misses the natural blue of the Earth in general. Sure other planets have rain or the ocean. But it never compares to the comfortable, familiar feeling of the ocean lapping against his skin, the salt settling into his pours. Or how light the rain is when it drops against his cheeks, streaming down the curves of his body. Lance just likes water… and blue in general. Maybe because it’s the abundance of rain in Cuba, and then later---Florida. Moving to Arizona for the Garrison was one of the most jarring experiences of his life. Dry heat is way different than wet heat, and Lance constantly felt like he was being sucked of all moisture.

And it isn’t just water, it’s the color blue. It’s one of the most constant things in Lance’s life. It’s his favorite color, the color of water, the color of his eyes, the color of his armor and original Lion, it was the color of everything that was special to Lance.

It was also the color of a particularly piercing set of deep indigo eyes, almost purple. Lance was sick of the color purple, courtesy of the Galra, so he preferred to think of them as indigo. Did indigo count as a shade of blue? Whatever, Lance thinks it does. Indigo’s a beautiful color. It’s particularly beautiful in that certain pair of eyes, eyes Lance would love to drown in forever. 

Lance’s eyes suddenly snap open, and he yanks the headphones off.

_What the hell?_

Shaking his head, Lance drops his face into his hands.

There that bastard is again. Sneaking his way into Lance’s head when he least expects it, planting little affectionate thoughts and running away immediately to leave Lance feeling like an idiot. Why was Keith on his mind so much lately? And why were his thoughts about him always so… _that_? Lance finding himself falling into Keith’s indigo eyes, feeling phantom raven hair between his fingers, hearing Keith’s husky whisper against his ear.

Yep, he’s far gone.

Groaning against his palms, Lance flies back into his bead once more---almost crushing his headphones underneath his back. He slides his fingers down his face, dragging his eyes closed before his flops his arms by his side.

Why did he have to realize this _now_? When Keith was completely out of his reach. Now Lance can only think of the mission that Keith is on at the moment, the nagging feeling that _He’s dead he’s dead you missed your chance to tell him he’s already dead he’s dead he’s---_

“Ugh…” Lance whines, rolling dramatically onto his side. He clutches his stomach---which suddenly aches sharply---tugging on the fabric of his shirt. When the hell did this become so frequent? Sure, Lance has had idle thoughts about Keith before, but he’s had idle thoughts about pretty much every one of the occupants on the ship. Excluding Coran, he’s like… one-hundred.

Lance has filed through them all at least once. His first was unsurprisingly Hunk. When the two boys first met he instantly fell in love with Hunk’s warmth and friendly attitude. Not to mention he’s absolutely adorable. But Lance’s crush on Hunk started to fade away once their friendship became stronger, and Lance realized he didn’t want to lose that.

And then, of course, there’s Shiro---although, that’s more hero worship than any actual feelings. Shiro was intelligent, talented, witty, strong, brave, fucking _hot as hell_ , but Lance let his realistic side take over when he knew it was never gonna happen.

His thoughts about Pidge aren’t particularly noteworthy, just a few questioning thoughts about if the two ever kissed. He’d already known about Pidge being ace, so that sorta put an eventual stop on his already short fantasies.

And of course, Allura. His feelings for Allura were incredibly blatant, him being a hopelessly vocal flirt and all. But then again, who _didn’t_ love Allura? She’s definitely the most beautiful woman Lance has ever had the pleasure of seeing. She’s kind, smart, a fucking badass who could send Lance flying across the universe by flicking him with her pinky if she really put her mind to it. But Allura doesn’t feel the same way about him, so Lance has learned to let his feelings rest and appreciate their friendship. Even if it can’t be anything more.

And now… Keith. Keith was… a confusing case. It was around the time of the lion switch when feelings for Keith began to surface. He originally thought he was just misinterpreting feelings of strong friendship. But he distinctly remembers walking it on Keith in the middle of a training session. He had just beat another one of the Gladiators before taking the hem of his shirt to wipe across his forehead. And Lance got a pretty clear view of his ridiculously pronounced abs. _Sweaty abs_. Lance immediately saw himself out to go have a Bi Crisis in his room.

Eventually, Keith left for the blade. Everyone was upset, yeah, and he was too. But by that point, Lance had thought he had gotten over his crush on Keith.

So yeah.

When the hell did these thoughts become so frequent?

Lance rolls onto his back to stare at the painfully white ceiling above his head. Was his crush on Keith resurfacing? And if it was resurfacing… what did that say about how he felt about Keith?

Was it more than just a one-time-crush?

Lance can’t be sure. All he knows right at this moment is that he’s worried about Keith. And sure, you can be worried about a teammate. He considered Keith a friend. But usually, those feelings of worry aren’t accompanied by thinking about what it would be like to kiss said teammate. He’s already admitted to himself he has a crush on Keith, but what if it turns into something more serious?

That’s the problem with crushes. Too many questions with no answers. 

Throwing his legs over the side of his bed, Lance heaves himself onto his feet. He stretches his arms over his head, receiving a satisfying _crack_ in his back once he does. Maybe he should get something to eat. Yeah, eating will clear his head. Just gotta eat.

Lance slides his jacket over his body as he walks out of his room, making his way down to the kitchen where he has a sneaking suspicion Hunk will be in there stress-baking.

Sure enough, the heavy-set boy is darting around the room as he attempts to make a batch of cookies. Through sheer luck, those cookies will turn out amazing.

“Whuddup, Big Guy,” Lance grunts as he hops up onto one of the counters. Hunk slips off his oven mitts after he places a fresh tray of “cookies” onto the counter next to him. He runs the back of his hand across his forehead before turning around to face Lance.

“Hey, man,” Hunk says with a small smile. “You doin’ okay? You look kinda stressed,” Yep, leave it to Hunk to notice Lance’s ebbing stress. The boy sighs heavily in response, dropping his forehead into his palm.

“Ugh, Hunk,” Lance groans.

“Ugh, Lance,” Hunk responds mockingly. “Ugh, what is it?” He asks as he leans against the counter Lance is sitting on with his elbows. Lance gives him an incredulous look, a frown plastered on his face.

“Alright, enough with the mock dramatics. I’m having a real crisis here!” Lance groans theatrically, throwing his arms in the air to emphasize his point with gesticulations.

“Really,” Hunk deadpans, raising a brow. Lance gives him an intense look of desperation, and Hunk has to do everything in his power to not roll his eyes at this. “Alright, what’s your deal?” 

Lance’s shoulder's deflated at this, his expression dropping. “I’m like… not okay right now, man. And I really don’t know how to articulate this to you without---y’know, making it sound really weird? So, uh… alright, it’s just like ripping off a band-aid, okay,” Lance rambles on as he attempts to prepare himself, drumming his open palms against his thighs.

“You’re not being very quick about this, buddy,” Hunk huffs as he slouches.

“I think I’m in love with Keith!” Lance blurts out before slamming his hands over his mouth with a loud _whap_. Hunk completely straightens, gaping at Lance with saucer-wide eyes. Lance lowers his hands from his mouth hesitantly, planting them firmly by his side. “I… I think I’m in love with Keith,” he says again, this time with more uncertainty. Had he really just admitted that? What the fuck?

“Uh… excuse me?” Hunk finally squeaks out, raising a brow. “You’re joking, right? This has gotta be a joke.” Hunk starts sounding desperate, his voice cracking as he stares searing holes into Lance’s skull.

Yanking his hood over his face and bringing his knees up to his chin, Lance “effectively” makes himself disappear as he says: “Nope… this is painfully… painfully real.” Lance peaks out from his cave quick enough to see Hunk lean back and place a large hand on his forehead. 

Okay so, this wasn’t _really_ the reaction Lance was hoping for.

“Alright, thanks for judging me, man. You’re making me feel a _whooole_ lot better,” Lance grunts sarcastically, making his move to get off the counter. Hunk is quick to grab Lance by his hips before he can slink away.

“No I’m---fuck, I’m sorry I didn’t mean… I was just surprised.” Lance stares half-lidded at Hunk, and a deep crimson blush spreads over the dark-skinned boy’s cheeks. “Shit, okay just---lemme start over.” Hunk pulls away from Lance, his hands open palmed by his face in a mercy position. “I don’t think it’s a bad thing that you like Keith. And I promise, I’m right by your side, dude. And like---it has nothing to do with that he’s a guy or anything. You know how long I’ve known you were bi, I think I knew even before _you_ did. It’s just that… Keith? Keith’s the guy you like?”

“What the hell, Hunk?!” Lance barks, throwing his hands in the air. “Quit judgin’ my man!” 

“Wha---I wasn’t judging Keith! I _like_ Keith!” Hunk points to his heart with his thumb at the word _like_ just to prove his point. “It’s just---I thought you hated him?”

“Oh my god Hunk, do you even _listen_ to me? Remember that conversation we had like a sold thirty minutes ago? About how I was worried about Keith and Pidge said she thought I hated him? And how I said _I don’t fucking hate him?_ I mean, come on dude. You’re really testing your title of “best friend” here.” Lance’s angry whines sound more desperate, knocking the back of his heels against the counter he sits on.

“Okay---I’m sorry, again. Just, okay, get down from the counter and let’s have a _serious_ conversation about this.” Hunk, back at it again with his diplomatic tendencies. Lance sighs heavily, reluctantly sliding off the counter. He watches Hunk put on his oven mitts once again to pull out one more batch of “cookies” from the oven, placing the tray beside the previous. He unties his apron, hanging it on a hook beside the door before finally shutting the oven off. “Let’s get out of the kitchen, this place is just oozing with stress,” Hunk says, pushing Lance forward by the small of his back. Lance can only assume that Hunk is referring to all of his stress-baking, but he can’t be sure.

They eventually find themselves in the lounging area, where Pidge sits on the couch tapping away on her laptop. Lance is pretty sure she’s causing an earthquake with each tap. 

“Hey uh, Pidge? Could you maybe---” Pidge looks up from laptop to shoot lasers from her eyes into Hunk’s forehead, and he backs away at the stare. “Uh, y’know what? Never mind.” Hunk sits down cautiously beside Pidge once she’s settled back into whatever she was doing, Lance following suit and sitting beside Hunk.

The two boys give a sidelong glance to Pidge---who just flips them off---and Hunk clears his throat. “So uhh… when did you start? Uh… you, you know,” Hunk gestures vaguely, and Lance looks away sheepishly.

“Well like… I started… thinking about things around the Lion Switch. But it was like, a minute before I came running out of my room to find you that it like _really_ hit me.” Lance fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “So, yeah.”

“So you really…”

“Yeah.”

The two boys stare at each other for a solid minute before Pidge suddenly groans obnoxiously. “Oh my _god_ would you two quit talking so vaguely and _tell me what the hell is going on?_ ” Pidge shoves her laptop off her lap, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at them expectantly.

Lance looks pleadingly in Hunk’s direction, and he just shrugs as if to say “she has the right to know.” That bastard. She does

“Well, I uh…” Lance wrings his hands nervously. He could talk to Hunk about this. But Pidge? That’s a whole other story. “I kinda… I kinda have like… and tiny crush on… Keith…” Lance’s voice completely dies by the time he says Keith, hiding his face in his hands.

When Lance looks up from his hands, he’s completely caught off guard by Pidge’s relatively unswayed expression. Well uh, okay then.

“Oh, okay,” she goes back to her laptop, and that’s the end of her commentary.

_What the hell??_

Lance is starting to think that’s the entirety of his vocabulary.

“What? That’s your entire reaction? Aren’t you gonna like, give me shit for it?” Lance gapes at Pidge when she looks back up at him with half-lidded eyes. “No?”

“Lance, I’m not surprised. I had a feeling for a while, actually. Good luck with your feelings, bud.” Pidge shrugs, crossing her arms and giving Lance an uncomfortably emotionless expression. Well okay then, at least Lance can be thankful that she didn’t much of a reaction.

“Uh… thanks, I think?” Lance questions himself. “Should I be worried?”

“Why should you be worried?” 

“I don’t---you just---you know what? I think I just need to clear my head. Again.” Lance heaves himself off the couch, shoving his hands into his jean pockets. He can almost hear Hunk and Pidge look at each other questioningly, but he doesn’t make a comment. Once he exits the room, he realizes he didn’t even do what he originally left his room to do. Whelp, guess he’s never going to eat. He didn’t have an appetite anyway. This whole situation with Keith was so needlessly complicated and confusing, he just needed to do something to clear his head. For _real_ clear his head. Where he can go to a place without love songs to skew his thoughts, or friends to talk to. Just him and the water.

 

* * *

 

Darkness consumed Lance’s eyes, any and all sound muffled by the water. He slowly opened his eyes, watching the artificial castle light danced across the surface of the water, caking Lance in rays of light.

 

Lance positioned the heels of his feet against the bottom of the pool before he kicked himself up with as much power as he could. His head splashed out of the water, breathing in a strained breath. Water dripped down his face, so Lance wiped his eyes with the palms of his hands. He kicked his way over to the edge of the pool to catch his breath, coughing quietly into his fist. It had become a habit to let himself stay underwater with his eyes closed for as long as he possibly could. He liked the thrill of it, despite how dangerous it was.

 

He didn’t really care.

 

Lance placed his forehead against the cold surface of the Altean pool floor. The cool feeling was comfortable, helping to sooth his heated face.

 

He tipped his head to the side to let his cheek lean against the floor, but when he opened his eyes he saw an unwanted figure leaning against the wall.

 

“Hey, Keith,” Lance croaked. Keith just gave him a blank stare, one void of any hate or love. He pushed himself off the wall to make his way over to Lance, and he slumped down onto the floor beside Lance’s head. “What’re you doing here?”

 

Keith ran his hands through his bangs, exposing his illegally beautiful eyes. He put his arm back down beside him, his fringe fell back over his eyes. Lance had to force himself to not feel disappointed. “I’d ask the question to you,” Keith dead-panned. Lance rolled his eyes. He shoved away from the pool wall, floating on his back with his arms spread out on either side of him.

 

“Just needed to clear my head,” Lance grunted, refusing to look at Keith as he said it.

 

“I don’t think your head can get any clearer than it already is,” Keith sneered. Lance squawked, splashing back into an upright position. Keith laughed in his raspy voice, a crooked smirk on his face. It was the type of smirk that only exposed part of his top row of teeth, making it look like an animalistic snarl. Needless to say, Lance was Swooning.

 

“Alright, okay, but why are _you_ up here?” Lance questioned, pointed an accusing finger at Keith as he trod water.

 

“I was looking for you, and I just had a hunch you’d be up here,” Keith said nonchalantly. His playful smirk only grew wider at this, leaning back on the heels of his hands. Lance quirked a questioning brow while his heart was screaming _that sexy fucker, is it even legal to look that hot?_

 

“Why were you looking for me? Couldn’t handle not seeing my gorgeous face for too long?” Lance teased, framing his chin with his thumb and forefinger while smiling cheekily. Keith rolled his eyes, his playful smile had quickly dropped back to his usual scowl. Lance didn’t let himself miss it (although he totally did).

 

“I just needed someone to be with, I guess. Someone who did most of the talking,” Keith’s tone was serious yet had a tone of amusement to it, and Lance huffed.

 

“Ha ha,” he droned. Lance’s shoulders fell, and his mildly annoyed tone was quickly replaced with a blooming feeling of warmth deep in his chest. “But seriously dude, I’m honored to be your hang-out buddy.”

 

Keith scoffed, shaking his head. “Right, thanks for not throwing me out.”

 

Lance guffawed, quickly swimming over so he was looking straight up at Keith. “What? Why would I kick you out? You’re the leader now, and I’m like your right-and-man. I have an obligation to talk to you when you need a buddy. We’re bros for life,” Lance lifted his fist for Keith to bump, and the raven-haired boy hesitantly brought his fist to Lance’s dripping hand.

 

The team had just recently come back from their expedition to The Alternate Reality, so both he and Keith were pretty tuckered out. This one-on-one time could maybe be good for them.

 

“Yeah, bros for life,” Keith repeated quietly, shaking his hand to get Lance’s water off his knuckles. Lance scoffed at that, but couldn’t help but find it kind of adorable when Keith scrunched up his nose as water flew off his knuckles. How the hell could someone be so hot and adorable at the same time?

 

“Anyway,” Lance started, kicking off the wall to swim backward. “You come here to talk ‘bout anything specific?” Keith just shrugged, bringing his shins up, leaning his elbows against his knees and clasping his hands together to hold his legs up. “Alright, cool. You wanna hear about why I came up here?” Keith just shrugged again, which Lance took as the perfect way to kick-start a conversation.

 

“Sometimes I like to come up here just simply to clear my head. The pool reminds me of Varadero---the beach in Cuba that I didn’t live too far away from. And sure, the cruddy pool water with ‘chlorine’ would never compare to the real thing, but it’s familiar, y’know?” Keith nodded---he clearly didn’t really understand, but at least he tried. “And also the water is nice. I do this thing where I sink to the bottom of the pool and sit there for as long as I can.”

 

“That sounds stupid,” Keith said. Lance just shrugged at that, he couldn’t really argue with him.

 

“Eh, whatever.” Lance just said simply. Keith stifled a laugh, repositioning himself to lean on the heels of his hands. 

 

Keith tipped his head to the side, studying Lance with a strange focus. “What do… what do you think about while you’re up here?” Keith asks hesitantly. “I mean… besides your family.”

 

Lance tapped his chin in thought, leaning his back against the pool ledge across from Keith. “Well, I think about Voltron a lot. About you guys,” _About you,_ Lance almost said, but he bit back his tongue. “I think about the war, about mortality. All the I’m Fourteen And This Is Deep shit you’d expect from being alone for an hour.” Keith hummed in agreement, nodding slightly. “I’m sure you’ve had times like that.”

 

Keith bit his bottom lip, chewing on the layers of the pink skin. “I guess,” he concluded rather sourly. Lance sighed deeply, blowing a raspberry as he exhaled.

 

“You ever think about Shiro?” Lance asked cautiously. Keith visibly stiffened, his shoulders squaring and his eyes sharpening. Keith had briefly made eye-contact with Lance before looking away quickly, his eyes growing distant.

 

“Yeah, all the time,” Keith answered earnestly, his jaw working. Lance nodded in understanding. Shiro was Keith’s only family, so losing Shiro was the equivalent of Lance feeling homesick. At least the two of them had _something_ to relate about.

 

“I’m sorry about that, man,” Lance finally said quietly.

 

“S’okay,” Keith muttered, leaning his cheek against the heel of his hand. Lance swallowed thickly, slowly swimming up to Keith.

 

“No, it’s not okay. You’re hurting, man. You were---you’re in a bad place right now, and you have a right to be upset. So no, it’s not okay, and you shouldn’t have to pretend like it is to hide your feelings.” Lance tentatively grabbed Keith’s wrist, looping his fingers slowly around the bones. “We’re here for you, _I’m_ here for you, so if you need to talk about it, just go for it, man.” Lance gently rubbed his thumb against Keith’s skin rhythmically, the other boy wrapping his fingers around Lance’s wrist in camaraderie. 

 

Keith never ended up saying anything, he just watched his and Lance’s intertwined hands, his eyes following the circles that Lance stroked against his skin with the pad of his thumb.


	2. Luxury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has a comfortable conversation with Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh this chapter is so SOFT

Keith drags himself back to his bunk, his head pulsing slightly. The mission had been successful with zero fatalities and two casualties (one of which was debris falling on Keith, his mask didn’t do much to protect that). Keith rolls his eyes to himself (which hurts), as he closes his door behind him.

Pulling off his hood, Keith’s mask disintegrates. He flops down onto his not-so-comfortable bed, his head falling against the pillow. Even the cushion cradling his head hurts, if only mildly. His head injury was tended too, but he was still definitely injured. A dull ache blooms in the back of his head, and he groans internally.

An abrupt realization pulses through him, and suddenly his headache isn’t so bad anymore. He shoots up from his bed, slipping off the mattress to travel over to the sleek desk protruding from his wall. A gentle purple light illuminates the deep gray desk, a faded hologram being projected from said light. Keith runs the pads of his gloved fingers across the hologram to turn it on, making a move to call the Castle Ship.

He waits impatiently, tapping his open palms rhythmically on his thighs. The call finally goes through, and he’s faced with a rather sleepy look, Lance. His hair is sweeping awkwardly over his forehead. Lance presses the heel of his hand against his blood-shot eyes, giving Keith a clear shot of his pajama sleeve.

“Mm… Keith?” Lance croaks groggily. “How was your mission?”

Keith completely ignores Lance’s question. “Wait, did I wake you up? Oh my god, I did, I’ll just call you later---”

Lance straightens up, any sleep from before draining from his face. “No! I---I mean, you did. But like, that’s fine! That’s totally fine, just---how was your mission?” Lance repeats his question, rubbing his eyes with his fingers before running his hands through his hair. 

Keith scoffs, leaning back as he places his palm against his forehead. “It was… fine. Nothing substantial happened, we were just collecting intel,” Keith grunts, rubbing the heel up his hand into his temple. He winces slightly when a sharp pain swims through the veins in his head, but he bites it back before Lance can notice. Which, evidently, he does. Of course.

“Did you get hurt? You’re rubbing your head like you did,” Lance leans forward into the camera, the dark circles under his eyes painfully clear. Keith quirks his mouth to the side, biting the inside of his cheek.

“I… uh, I’m fine. Just a headache,” Keith says, slumping forward to sit in the chair adjacent to the desk. “Did Team Voltron do anything today?”

Lance scratches his jaw, tipping his head. “No, today was kind of a lazy day. No distress calls, no intel missions, no attacks from Lotor or Zarkon, life’s pretty chill here.” Keith can’t help but breath out a sigh of relief. He’s well aware that Voltron is the _literal_ Defender Of The Universe, but Keith can’t help but feel a little… protective. He knows in the grand scheme of things he’s completely powerless to any and all things that happen to Voltron, but he can still try to help. 

“Good, okay,” Keith leans forward, propping his elbows against the desk. He laces his fingers together, using his knuckles to hold his chin. “How’re everyone?”

“Dude, it’s been like, not even 5 hours. People haven’t changed much since then,” Lance teases slightly, shrugging his shoulders.

“Well excuse me for asking,” Keith sneers, a bit sourer than he intended it to sound. Keith shakes his head when Lance gives him a surprised look, and he drops his forehead against his knuckles. “I just… worry about you guys. Everyone’s fine though?”

“Yes, _mom_ , you can calm your ass down.” Lance sounds condescending, but the expression on his face is more annoyed than anything.

“I’m am calm!” Keith huffs, crossing his arms tightly over his chest plate. A wide smirk spreads across Lance’s face, and he snickers at Keith antics. Keith makes another huffing sound, almost sounding as if he were an angry toddler. “The mission was just stressful. This is left over stress,” Keith desperately tries to justify, even though he has no idea _why_ he needs too.

“You’re contradicting yourself, dumbass. Just a minute ago you said the mission went fine.” Lance leans against his fist, pressing his cheek upwards.

“Just because it went fine doesn’t mean it wasn’t stressful,” Keith says quietly, avoiding Lance’s gaze. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Lance shrug. “I just got hurt.”

“Fuck you,” Lance groans, though his tone is playful. “Again with contradicting yourself! You _just said_ you were fine and you just had a headache. Quit lyin’ to me!” Lance shouts as he waves his hands by his face. Keith sighs heavily, rolling his eyes.

“Well, maybe you’re just not observant,” Keith suggests. It was mostly a joke, and the way Lance squawks defiantly in response was definitely worth it.

“ _Keith!_ I’m the one who pointed it out in the first place!” He barks. Keith can’t help but wonder if Lance’s indignant yelling could wake anyone up. He’s just glad he’s not Hunk at the moment.

Keith pinches the bridge of his nose. “I was joking, you dumbass.” Lance stops his blabbering once Keith says this, making a stunned expression. Keith can’t help but snicker at the sight.

“What? The Keith Kogane can make a joke? No wonder it went right over my head, it sounded just like everything else you say,” Lance sneers, leaning back on his bed. Or, what Keith can only assume is his bed.

Keith rolls his eyes, but a small smile remains on his face. “You saying I’ve got a bad sense of humor?” Keith asks. Lance looks away from the camera in thought, quirking his lips to the side.

“No, just saying your delivery is horrible,” Lance looks back at Keith with a wide, toothy smirk.

“I’ll take it,” Keith grunts begrudgingly. Lance huffs out a husky laugh, shaking his head.

“That was very Not Keith of you,” Lance says matter-of-factly. Keith rests his temple against a closed fist, nodding slightly. Lance shrugs in response to Keith’s silence, running a hand through his knotted hair. _A rare sight to see_ , Keith points out to himself. Lance suddenly stretches his long, lean arms over his head, and somewhere off screen, he cracks his knuckles in the process. When he brings his arms down he tries his hardest to stifle a yawn, which Keith reluctantly admits to himself is adorable.

“You want me to call you later?” Keith offers. Lance shakes his head, rubbing his fingers into his tired eyes. Keith rolls his eyes. “I can call you tomorrow, you gotta sleep,” Keith says insistently.

“M’not tired…” Lance drones. Keith scoffs at that, of course, Lance wouldn’t admit to being tired. He’s _Lance_.

“Yes you are, and I’m gonna hang up now so you can sleep,” Keith grunts. Lance wines quietly, but he doesn’t directly protest. “ _Lance_ ,”

“Okay, okay… I’ll sleep,” Lance takes a pause so he can yawn into his fist. “We gotta find a time where we can call each other without a time-crunch.” Keith chuckles, nodding stiffly in agreement. “Alright man, if I have to sleep, so do you.”

Keith rolls his eyes. “I’ll try,” Keith offers. Lance makes an indignant noise, slamming his hands on either side of the screen.

“You won’t just _try_! _You will get sleep!_ And if you don’t promise me that, I won’t sleep at all for the rest of the night! Got it, Mullet?” Lance practically threatens. Keith backs away from the screen, mostly to avoid Lance’s threatening nature. Although it’s kind of hilarious. 

“ _Mullet,_ ” Keith recites. “Haven’t heard that one in a while,” Keith dead-pans. Lance gapes at him, fake anger emanating from him. Again, it’s hilarious.

“ _Do you promise?_ ” Lance insists. Keith can’t help but break out into husky laughter, shaking his head.

“Alright, alright I promise,” Keith chuckles. “Can we hang up now?” Lance nods, blinky slowly as he does so. Once he got the answer out of Keith that he was looking for, he seemed to drain completely, going right back to his previous state of exhaustion.

“Night, Lance,” Keith says quietly.

“Goodnight, Keith,” Lance practically whispers before promptly ending the call. Keith’s screen fades away, and he’s left with the usual dull purple light. It’s practically sickening. Keith heaves himself away from the desk, walking across his bunk to sink down into his dense mattress. He sinks into it only slightly, his weight not enough to change much in the way of the mattresses shape. Before letting his head his pillow, he fiddles around with his armor to make sure it’s at least somewhat comfortable. Unsurprisingly, it’s not, but Keith knows he has to be prepared for anything and at all times. It’s the exact reason why he wore his shoes to sleep back at the castle, even if it only was for the first few months he had been there. He eventually had let himself become comfortable in the space, making his room more personalized and---frankly, messy. Keith had eventually made it to the step of stripping down to his T-shirt and boxers until that inevitably bit him in the ass. Keith can remember that night vividly, the Galra had infiltrated the ship, sentrys flooding the hallways. The minute the warning alarms went off, Keith had stumbled out of bed, frantically searching for his pants and boots. His door had then suddenly opened with a threatening _whoosh_ and sentrys filled his room. Keith practically shrieked as he tumbled onto the floor with his pants half-on, before opting to reject them completely and taking out the sentrys half-naked with his luxite blade.

So, in brief, Keith had learned to always be prepared. Comfort wasn’t a luxury he could afford. And not just simple relaxations like letting his mind get lost on the training deck or God forbid _sleeping without pants_ , but he began eliminating other things as well. Such as food. Sure, he ate, he recognized the importance of food. But that simply was all it was to him now: a necessity. Flavor is something he thinks is just an added bonus at this point. Even fucking _relationships_ is something he’s depriving himself of because he’s terrified of distraction. And friends, family… other… things… are all too much of a distracting for Keith. And one of these days he’s going to really damage someone because he shittily handled their relationship. He can’t let that happen.

Okay… so maybe Keith is a little… severe, but he has valid reasons for it. He got way too comfy back at the castle, but he’s at the BoM base now. The entire existence of the BoM is that no one has significance and that the mission is more important than the individual. It’s so jarringly different from the whole Chosen One attitude of Voltron, that now thinking of himself as anything more than “just another member” can make him homesick. But why the hell was he getting homesick over a place that wasn’t even his home? Did Keith really even have one? Keith can’t help but idly think about what his dad used to say to him when he was young: _You’re home is where your heart is._ He’d remind Keith of this whenever they had to leave their shack, the safe comfort immediately being lost. Keith had only known his dad in the early staged of his life, so all memories of him are usually overly sappy. But his dad reminding him of this calmed Keith down. It meant that if they were ever lost, Keith could still be at home if he was with his dad. His heart was his. Sure, it’s definitely finger-down-your-throat-gag worthy, but it’s a good saying none the less.

Keith slides his gloved hands down his face, letting them linger on the sides of his neck. The Castle isn’t his home, his friends are. And now it’s like he’s a lost child in a raging sea, clinging onto the shore of an island so he doesn’t get pulled by the tide. The tide being the BoM, apparently. But don’t get Keith wrong, he admires the BoM greatly. He wouldn't have joined if he thought otherwise. It just wasn’t the most… comforting place. Kolivan was nice enough to him---despite his rather icy and stoic nature. But Kolivan will never be the same as Shiro. Both leaders, both strong, brave, level headed, but despite their similarities, Kolivan will _never_ be Shiro. Some things are just precious like that.

The rest of the paladins were a whole other story. Keith didn’t really have any friends at the base, all of them so similarly blank that if you squint they all look the same and begin to fade into obscurity. Sure, Keith would idly compare some of the members to his former teammates, but it was more physical than anything. The personalities would never match up. No one could ever be as nonchalantly caring as Hunk, as dryly inquisitive as Pidge (he loves the girl, but she can even be a little blunt, even for him), as composed and courageous as Allura, as interesting and eccentric as Coran, or… or as compassionate and sincere as Lance. 

Keith watches the ceiling above him, too dark in his room to really make anything out. With that, he rolls onto his side and curls in on himself. He brings his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his knees. He wasn’t really cold or anything, he just kinda felt like hugging himself at the moment.

A sudden blinking light fills his peripheral vision, and he strains his neck to see the faded hologram screen illuminated. He purses his lips before cautiously slipping out of his bed, the sheet catching on his armor and following him out before dropping onto the cool floor. He drags himself across the room to the desk whilst rubbing the sleep out of the corners of his eyes. He swipes a finger across the screen to turn it on, only to be presented with what looks like a direct messenger.

 

 **Lance McMeme-12:35 AM Earth** : Look I know u said for me to go to sleep but Pidge just invaded my personal space in THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT I might add, to tell me there’s a DM function. So hi. Pidge said next time we see u on a mission she’s gonna give u a personal portable to talk to us On The GoTM

 

Keith stares at the bright screen for another moment before sighing fondly. He clicks on the screen to respond.

 

 **Keith Kogane-12:36 AM Earth** : I like your name.

 **Lance McMeme-12:36 AM Earth** : Why thank you, good sir. Ur not bothered I woke u up, r u?

 **Keith Kogane-12:36 AM Earth** : No, it’s fine. Looking forward to that personal portable you mentioned.

 **Lance McMeme-12:37 AM Earth** : Ugh Keith u sound so formal

 **Keith Kogane-12:37 AM Earth** : What do you mean?

 **Lance McMeme-12:37 AM Earth** : U know what nvm. What r u doing right now?

 **Keith Kogane-12:37 AM Earth** : Talking to you. And I know how you’re gonna respond to that, so don’t even try.

 **Lance McMeme-12:38 AM Earth** : Wow Keith, rude. Just answer the question seriously

 **keith Kogane-12:38 AM Earth** : I was just trying to get some shut-eye. Clearly, it didn’t work, as I am talking to you right now.

 **Lance McMeme-12:38 AM Earth** : Again, Keith, so weirdly formal

 

There’s an uncomfortably long pause as Keith thinks of what to say in response to Lance’s quip without repeating himself---therefore causing just a loop in conversation because he _still_ doesn’t know what Lance means by that.

 

 **Lance McMeme-12:39 AM Earth** : Oh I remember what I was gonna say!! What was ur mission? Earlier u said u had a headache

 **Keith Kogane-12:40 AM Earth** : We were collecting some valuable information from a Galra ship. I won’t go into details so I don’t kill you with boredom, but basically, it has a lot to do with how they’re collecting quintessence and all that shit. It wasn’t a super big mission, I just got hurt.

 

Another weird pause.

 

 **Keith Kogane-12:40 AM Earth** : Some soldiers caught us while we were downloading the information. It was all kind of a blur after that, but at some point, either one of the Blades or soldiers shot overhead and debris fell on me.

 **Lance McMeme-12:40 AM Earth** : Keith what the fuck?? Why didn’t u tell me this sooner?? Are u okay? Head injuries are serious biz, trust me. Ever since Coran forced me to help him with cleaning the castle I kinda became his health student and now I know all about healing injuries and stuff

 **Keith Kogane-12:41 AM Earth** : I promise I’m okay, Lance. 

**Keith Kogane-12:41 AM Earth** : Wait...are you worried about me?

 **Lance McMeme-12:41 AM Earth** : Ugh COME ON Keith fucking debris fell on you

 **Keith Kogane-12:41 AM Earth** : That doesn’t answer my question.

 

Keith sits staring at the blindingly bright screen for an achingly long time, waiting for Lance to answer. After about five minutes, Keith decides Lance just won’t, and he shuts off his hologram so he can get some real sleep. After shutting off his screen, he stares at the dimly lit desk for another moment before finally retreating to his bed.

He doesn’t quite realize he’s been grinning dopily until he feels an uncomfortable pressure in his cheeks, and he has to consciously will himself to stop smiling. He purses his lips after the realization, wrapping his arms around his middle. What hell could Lance have done to leave a smile lingering that long? Sure, it was a… pleasant conversation. But there wasn’t anything particularly _grin worthy_ about it. Keith huffs defiantly, rolling onto his side.

This is an uncomfortable issue he would have to dwell on at a different time. Right now, he should rest while he can. Getting distracted by Lance’s affections and antics is a luxury he can’t afford to have.

Unfortunately.


End file.
